5things_you_absolutely

Major life changes take a long time. Six years, six months. Seven six weeks seems long when you're fighting your way through a jungle. Along the way, clients tell me, they feel tired and discouraged. If you were trekking off to a real jungle, you'd expect to encounter obstacles. You'd pack extra water, mosquito repellent and sunscreen.

For a life change, you need to pack a first aid kit so you'll be ready for fear, frustration and loneliness. No mosquitoes but lots of moments when you wish you could go back to the starting line and change your mind.

Essential #1: Pep talks. If you watched March Madness, you saw lots of coaches. The good ones know how to tailor their message for each team and for each player. The message that sends one player screaming off the court will send another out to score the winning point.

You know your own hot buttons. What worked last time you felt like giving up? How can you jump start a tired self? While you're in a good mood, write yourself a pep talk. Not too long. Not too abstract or preachy. Then keep it in a safe place, ready to read when you need it most.

Essential #2: Rewards. You force yourself to make six cold calls in one day. You write a powerful sales letter to your best customer. Your accounting records are caught up. You finish four pages of your book.

Use rewards when you have to do something but you won't see results right away - maybe not for a long, long time.

I'm always amazed at the variety of rewards people choose. Some won't be motivated by anything less than a new car. Others just visit the gourmet food shop, get a massage or hire someone to do chores they normally handle themselves.

Tip: Still unmotivated? Feeling like, "I'd rather skip the reward than do the action?" You can:
(a) choose a new reward;
(b) revise your goals and action plan; and/or
(c) acknowledge that you're one of those people who just isn't reward-driven.

Essential #3: Treats. Give yourself treats for no particular reason. Everybody deserves at least one pocket of joy every single day, no matter what. Television is not allowed as a treat. Altruistic acts don't count.

Tip: If you can't come up with a single treat, you're living in the wrong place, you've been joy-starved too long and/or you're depressed. Don't wait. Get help.

Essential #4: Celebrations. Celebration means you've been working hard and now you see results. You landed two interviews. A customer asked for a proposal (and you can tell he's serious).

Famed writer Natalie Goldberg once observed that we should celebrate when anyone finishes a novel, even if it doesn't
get published. From my own writing experience, I agree wholeheartedly.

Essential #5: Connections. You need people - at least one person - who can be your touchstone, a constant while you change. You need opportunities to talk freely about your hopes - and admit you're terrified of what you started.

And you need someone who reminds you why you started this crazy journey in the first place.

Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D "Let's face it: life is too short to be stuck in a misery-making career. " -- Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D. Career Consultant Fr^e report: 10 secrets of mastering a major life change.
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